Evil Weakest Link
by wufei hater
Summary: PG13 because i think i sware sometimes and i like to cut some of the characters, 10 of my fav super villans go against each other on the weakest link
1. Round 1

Hello my ever loyal minions. I heard someone talking about the weakest link this morning, and in honor of New Years Eve-il on cartoon network this year. A weakest link Villans edition based on their own respective shows because I'm not smart enough to come up with my own kinds of questions.  
  
Weird music plays and host lady says "Hello and welcome to the weakest link. On this show we have several honored guests and close personal friends of mine. But none of these losers are as evil as me. We have."  
  
"The Joker, I'm here from Gotham City and I'm playing to raise money for the kill Batman fund."  
  
"Cell, I'm from Dr. Gero's secret lab and have low self esteem, I'm playing to get all the use out of this planet before I destroy it."  
  
"Megabyte, from Mainframe. I'm here to infect everything. I'm razing mainframe."  
  
"Blight, I'm also here from Gotham and I own anything I want so I'm here to rub it in Joker's face when he gets voted off"  
  
"Lex Luthor, I'm here from Metropolis, I'm raising money for the Kryptonian must perish fund."  
  
"Darkseid, from Apokolips, I'm here because I got rid of inner gang when I shouldn't have and am kinda tapped for cash right now"  
  
"Hexadecimal, I'm from lost angles and I'm going to change faces every five minutes so please just talk to my better halves. Mwahahahaha!"  
  
"Brainiac from Krypton, I'm here to raise money so I can buy a real space ship to get off this rock, I know all your pitiful answers. I am smarter than everyone here."  
  
"Zechs Marquise, I'm from the sanq kingdom, and I'm here because I like to look dead sexy in this mask on TV. Hi Quatre!"  
  
"Vegeta, prince of all Sayainns, I don't know why I'm here because Bulma's dad is loaded and I can just mooch food off them, I will destroy Kackarot!"  
  
"Alright these are our all be it strange players but they're all evil, so it should be a good show. So lets play, the Weakest Link!" Anne says and the music plays, with a distinctly more evil tone to it for the guests.  
  
"You all know how to play, Joker you'll go first because I say so and I'm in charge. In addition to the normal rules there are few ones we thought we had to reinforce before the game. 1) Don't kill each other. 2) Don't kill me. 3) Don't insult the author, he is god and he can takes you outta here pretty quick." Anne concluded and glared at everyone. Only Vegeta twitched angrily and everyone else just shifted his or her feet uncomfortably.  
  
"Alright, its time to play the weakest link!"  
  
"Joker. What is in your flower?"  
  
1 "Acid"  
  
"Correct. Cell. Why didn't you absorb android 16?"  
  
"Pff got me, seems like a good idea now since I got kicked around so bad."  
  
"I won't accept that. Megabyte, why are you so cool?"  
  
Says with a lot of accent "This is probably why"  
  
"Correct, Blight, have you ever considered rage management?" Blight screams out and raises his fists into the air. "Incorrect. Lex. Haven't you ever considered moving your evil operation elsewhere?"  
  
A large sweatdrop appears by the side of Lex's head and he falls to the ground with his feet sticking up behind the podium.  
  
"I'll take that as a no. Darkseid. Superman as a hood ornament on a giant tank that friggin crushed everything. Dude that was so cool."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Hexadecimal, how many faces do you have?"  
  
Laughs wildly and puts on several crazy faces and laughs maniaclly.  
  
"Also cool, Brainiac, what's the square root of Pi?"  
  
Brainiac blinks wildly and starts to make spitting sounds with his lips and makes his index finger go up and down from lip to lip like a child would.  
  
"Just because that was funny you get nothing. Zechs. I got a friend who wants to meet you, you do autographs?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Alright you get the point. Vegeta. Your hair rocks."  
  
"Pitiful weak earthling."  
  
"Dude, Vegeta called me a weakling you get the point. And that was the end of the round. It's time to vote off the weakest link."  
  
Creepy voice that no one on stage can hear. "Statistically Brainiac was the weakest link because he sucks. Zechs is the strongest link because my friend is reading this while I write it and she thinks he hot. But it's the votes that count." A single, feminine cheer goes up in the crowd, and slowly dies.  
  
"Alright team its time to vote off, the weakest link."  
  
2 "Batman"  
  
2.1 "Goku"  
  
2.1.1 "Hexadecimal"  
  
2.1.1.1 "Brainiac"  
  
2.1.1.1.1 "Joker"  
  
"Brainiac"  
  
"Zechs"  
  
"Batman"  
  
"Megabyte"  
  
"Brainiac"  
  
"Well," looks around the group glaring at random people. "Megabyte, why Hex?"  
  
Says in that really cool evil accent, "Sibling rivalry, she always stole my toys when we were young virals."  
  
"Zechs, why Megs?"  
  
"His style is the only one that rivals my own."  
  
"Well we have a tie and Batman isn't here," glares at Joker and Brainiac. "So Brainiac with 2 votes, you are the weakest link. Good bye."  
  
Brainiac walks off the stage and gives his backstage commentary to the Camera. "This does not compute, I was far smarter than anyone up there, yeah two out of three times I got to talk it was wrong but I'm still the most advanced life form out there."  
  
Back on stage. "We have nine players left, whose reign of evil is more like a light sprinkle. Find out when we return to the weakest link."  
  
Commercial Break  
  
Ok that was it for the 1st chapter. Please R+R, I don't own anyone of these things, I just have way too much free time so please don't sue me. Bye bye for now. 


	2. Round 2

WOW! Some one actually reviewed my story the next day. YAY! I was planning on writing more anyway but now I'll just be happier about it. Again, I own nothing used in this story. Ain't even my computer, but hey whatcha gonna do? All right here comes Round 2.  
  
Round 2  
  
"Welcome back to the Weakest Link. I'm your host. In the first round Brainiac was voted off and you banked.a pathetic.miserable.underrated.stupifyingly grand amount of zero dollars. Nine of you are left, and one of you will not be going on. Zechs, you were the strongest link from the last round so you'll get to go first. So lets play, the Weakest Link!" Funny music starts and ten seconds are taken off the clock.  
  
"Zechs, you're pretty."  
  
"Yes I am." Answers and waves his hair about.  
  
"Correct, Vegeta, who is your true mortal enemy?"  
  
"Freeza." Vegeta answers.  
  
"No, your father, by the way you guys got some serious issues to work through" Vegeta starts crying and sits down on the stage.  
  
"Joker, do you make your own clothes?"  
  
"No Harley steals them for me" He answers and holds his purple jacket out and spins on his heel.  
  
"Correct. Cell, why didn't you kill Hercule?"  
  
"He was a waste of my perfection." Cell answers.  
  
"For not killing him, you get nothing. Megabyte. Where do all those ABC's come from?"  
  
"I've always got some just lying around." Megabyte says and grins evilly.  
  
"Correct, Blight, if you stop melting your podium I'll give you the point." Cell takes his hands off his half-melted podium and smiles. "Good, Lex, do you have s severe inferiority complex?"  
  
"Yes," he says and looks at the ground.  
  
"Darkseid."  
  
"BANK!" Darkseid yells.  
  
Anne continues "What's the deal with you and granny?"  
  
Darkseid curls into a ball and starts to cry on stage.  
  
"Well that was mildly amusing, you get the point. Hexadecimal, where do you get your clothes?"  
  
"I have them specially made by hot topic, they RULE!" Laughs maniacally and changes to her crazy face with the red eyes and starts throwing fireballs into the audience.  
  
"Eeerghh correct and we should've included something about killing the audience members too, darn oh well. And that marks the end of round 2. In this round you banked a pathetic $2,000. That will be added to your grand total and will go onto the next round but one of you will not. Whose costume is cutting off the circulation to their brain?" Everyone glares at Hex and Vegeta. "It's time to vote off the weakest link.  
  
Weird voice talks again. "Statisticly, Vegeta and Darkseid are the weakest link because they both cried, the strongest link is again Zechs because he did that thing with his hair. But it's the votes that count."  
  
"It's time to reveal who you thought was the weakest link." Anne says and looks around the semi circle.  
  
"Darkseid." says Joker.  
  
"Vegeta." Cell says.  
  
"Hexadecimal." Megabyte says.  
  
"Joker." Blight says.  
  
"Joker" Luthor says.  
  
"Zechs." Darkseid says.  
  
"Joker." Zechs says.  
  
"Cell." Vegeta says.  
  
"Zechs." Anne says and looks at Zechs. "Why Joker?"  
  
"His clothes are the coolest here, I can't have that competition,"  
  
"Darkseid. Why Zechs?"  
  
"I don't like him, his questions or the fact that he's prettier than me." Darkseid replies and glares at Zechs. Zechs just waves a hand through his hair and listens to the girl in the audience scream.  
  
"Statistically, you evil little nancy boy, you were the weakest link because you cried. But it's the votes that count, and with three votes, you are the weakest link, good bye."  
  
The joker walks around his podium and storms off back stage, and gives his commentary. "I can't believe Zechs again! He gets the easiest question because the Vampyric peep queen is sitting next to the author! What a crock of bull!"  
  
"We'll be right back, on the weakest link." Anne says and fades to commercial.  
  
Commercial break.  
  
Ok that was round two, I don't even know who's going to win yet! I'll write more when I get back in a few days so enjoy. Again, I won nothing! 


End file.
